Women’s worst fear!!!

Molestation, rape, sexual assault…the moment we hear these terms they leave us with goose bumps expecially in case of women. Imagine girls of age 2 or even 1 and ofcourse of every age being molestated or raped now and then by men. Now am not going to give you the definition of rape as everyone is aware of it..am here to bring some insights into the topic which leave me scared atleast..and trust me its taken a lot of guts for me to actually write about this heinous crime. Actually its not crime its something more than a crime. Its killing a person psychologically and ofcourse physically.

What do you think..Is rape motivated by sex or aggression drive or need for power ??? well according to research its sometimes intense sexual desires among people and some feminist scholors have challenged this view, arguing instead that rape is motivated by the need to dominate, to assert power and to humiliate the victim rather than by sexual desire for her.  Some rapists even suffer from severe psychological disorders like paraphilias [A condition in which a person derives pleasure from bizarre sexual fetishes.], some are psychopathic deviants[one who shows anti social tendencies] and some also show severe distortions of thoughts. Some are even alcoholics, substance abused and some are even psychopathic killers who kill the person after raping or kill and then rape!!!

There can be stranger rape-a rape in which the victim does not know the offender and is likely to experience strong fear of physical harm and death. In acquaintance rape- the reaction is apt to be slightly different, the victim may feel not only dear but also betrayal by someone she had trusted. kinds of rapes like date rapes etc , you can find a lot of information about it on wikipedia or related sites.

What i actually wanna write about it is the effects of molestaion on a girl. Small kids dont even know what is sexual intercourse when they face this and if you guys thinking its more prevalent in economically backward society then you are wrong, it exists even in high society. Well my love for Freud will not leave me here too..hehehe..according to Freud’s psychoanalysis if children are being sexually abused at these psychosexual stages, it triggers their already present sexual desires and they might be fixated[arrested development]  at any particular age. They may show anti social tendencies later in life or may even develop low self esteem and hate their body. The victim might develop dissociative disorder [a state in which individual manifests two or more personalities and each personality system is unique,stable and has a well deveoped emotional thought process unaware of the other personality.] or in simple terms multiple personality as she might use several defense mechanisms to supress these event.  This reminds me of a novel by Sidney Sheldon- “Tell me your dreams” in which the victim was being molested by her father in childhood and due to repression of these events, her thoughts manifested into multiple personality and her hatred towards men!

I have actually witnessed many girls who were molested by their close relatives like uncles or for that sake even brothers!!! and trust me the psychological scar it leaves on them is more than any physical injury, especially when they are into a relationship with other guy.  They blame themselves for the tragedy which may lead to learnt helplessness, guilt feelings, low self esteem, post traumatic stress disorders. They may show defective parenting skills, cognitive disabilities, may tend to develop psychoneurotic disorders like depression, anxiety, disturbed concentration, get involved into substance abuse, intimacy problems, agressiveness, anti social behaviour, may allow their partners to dominate them and which leads to further victimization in sexual relationships.  Phobias often develop immediately following rape, including fear of the indoors- claustrophobia or outdoors-agoraphobia[depending on where the rape took place], fear of being alone- monophobia, fear of crowds-ocholophobia, fear of being followed and ofcourse sexual fears. I named only few problems they may face but they are innumerable. A previously well-adjusted woman usually will regain her prior equilibrium, but rape can precipitate severe pathpology in a woman with psychological difficulties. Victims’ perception as to whether they can control the future circumstances influenced the recovery process. Several hindi movies like Damini, Raja ki ayegi baraat were made on rape cases. I really liked Rani Mukherjee’s role in the latter and the confident with which she fights the case. It’s a lesson for everyone.

And hey in case of child abuse do you think only girls are victims, no even young boys may face this either by men or by women too..!!! children are vulnerable to such crimes. We see every now and then in news so many cases of children being raped by their teachers in schools, by their fathers, by some young boys etc etc, its not new to us!

Many cases are not reported due to family pressure, fear of the rapists and even due to social barriers especially in case of child abuse. But my request to all of you is if see or face such crimes report it. And try to bring back the victim to normalcy, though its difficult but not impossible. And treat everyone as angels dont abuse them in any way as it is not less than killing the person. And I feel culprits should not languish in prisons instead hanged to death and by doing so we give them peace. In a society dominated by men and men ego its difficult to completely eradicate this social crime but if made an effort nothing is impossible. Dont look for some case that has occurred in some part of the world. Start with your own neighbourhood. Why neighbourhood start from your own home. Dont force your partners into sexual intercourse even that is rape, date your girl but control your sexual urges, dont molest your child or sister or a cousin. I have seen a case where a girl was raped by her father and died of AIDS later. She led a life of a zombie for about 5 years, such a beautiful girl victim of her own FATHER!!! Yes this happened in my neighbourhood. Damage was already done, what i could do was just bring back her good chilhood memories by being a friend. Thats all they need..pervention is better than cure ofcourse but be a good human and control your negative impulses. Even simple molestation like trying to kiss may be hazardous. Girls go to other cities for higher studies live with their relatives or in hostels and to their much depair may get molested by a relative or the hostel warden or so called boy friend. Be safe girls, be bold and dont let these assualters do this to you. Fight for yourselves. This is the worst fear of my life, am not scared of death but being molested is something which leaves you anxious for life.

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~ by Neha Saboo Taparia on September 30, 2008.